Sex Slang around the UK
If you have ever felt a bit out of touch with modern terms (let’s face it, we have all been there, right?) especially on the sexy side of things, this list will help you feel slightly more zeitgeist and hip in this regard. You need to remember with knowledge and power comes great responsibility, so maybe don’t just blurt these things out in a busy coffee shop or having dinner with your family but if used at the right time, this could enhance your sex life in a very fun way.
1. Wanking → Masturbating by hand, can also be known as a handjob. Whose hand? is your choice.
2. Quickie → Rushed sex, usually without foreplay – sad times.
3. Pearl Necklace → Drops of semen around the neck and chest area. Not a family heirloom as the name might suggest.
4. Hickey → This is a love bite and as it sounds, it leaves a mark too. For an exhibitionist/show-off mostly to let you know they are getting some.
5. Bell-end → Tip of the Penis – Can also be used as a friendly insult.
6. Axe Wound → Vagina – Such a good name for a rock band.
7. Having it off → To have sex. Not referring to a particular position. It could be any that takes your fancy!
8. On the pull → Someone looking for sex – just make sure to bring your ‘A’ game.
9. Dogging → Sex with strangers, usually in woods or car parks – hopefully you don’t see your boss there, awkward!
10. Thrupney Bits → This is Cockney rhyming slang for tits, or breasts. You will be auditioning for Snatch 3 in no time.
11. Snatch → Vagina, female sex parts. Nothing to do with the film, probably.
12. Randy → A state of being sexually frustrated and horny. The state of most men, on most days.
13. Snog → This is another word for kissing, it makes way more sense than necking which can also be used…not.
14. Rubber Johnny → Another word for condom. Who the hell is Johnny?
15. Cock Tease → A derogatory term for someone who teases but doesn’t engage in sexual acts. This can result in Number 41 – gagging for it.
16. Baby Batter → Semen or the product of a very good time.
17. Jobby → Oral sex performed on a man. May be noisy, depending on the skill level of the one doing the sucking.
18. Growler → Referring to female genitalia because it resembles a wild animal, maybe it is, who knows!
19. Aussie Kiss → Oral sex on a female (the opposite of a quickie – see Number. 2).
20. Hot Beef Injection → You guessed it, this also means to have sex. How many ways can you say it!
21. Knee Trembler → Outdoors, usually after 10 pints, up against something, a tree, a wall, the choice is yours.
22. Double Bag → To use two condoms at once – Safety first people.
23. Knob → Another name for penis or door handle. No clue why, if they look the same, you may need to see a doctor.
24. Knobbing → Using the above said knob to have sex. If you are lucky anyway!
25. Clunge → A very naughty word referring to female genitalia. Certainly not a word to be used at posh dinner parties. Well, maybe after a Pinot Grigio or 3.
26. Shag → A good old sex session, enough said.
27. Poking → Having sex, maybe not as wild as Number 33.
Naughty Northern Ireland
28. Get your leg over → Sexual intercourse. Advisable to stretch off first if you do this literally.
29. Boning → Usually conducted after a 3rd or 4th date if you haven’t passed out from Necking at the cinema beforehand.
30. Necking →Kissing. Nothing really to do with the neck…Yep, don’t ask, it makes no sense.
31. Booty Call → Having sex with someone you know but have no emotional attachment to. Sex with your Ex is not advised, or you will end up listening to ‘New Rules’ on repeat.
32. Tapping That Arse → Having sex with the person who is attached to said arse.
33. Getting Railed → The act of having very wild sex that you possibly need to go into training for.
34. Plowing → Sleeping with someone. Note: Should actually be awake for this.
35. Stiffy → A penis with an erection. It does what it says on the tin if it sees something it likes.
36. Boner → Another name for an erection. Hard to walk around with one of these but somehow many do. Bless them.
37. Bonking → Another name for having sex, usually used by the older generation. No need now, you have this list.
38. Swinging → A universal word for couples swapping with each other, usually in a residential house or designated club. Just make sure you have the right address!
39. Tossing off → Another name for an erection. Hard to walk around with one of these but somehow many do. Bless them.
40. Getting your rocks off → A term for having sex. Not involving rocks. If it does, run for the hills!
41. Gagging for it → desperate for some sexual contact. This may mean a change of aftershave and wearing your lucky pants.
42. Starkers → This means no clothes or naked. Brace yourself!
43. Roll in the Hay → Another term for sexual relations. If you actually do roll in the hay, make sure the farmer isn’t about.
44. Laying the Pipe → Plain old sex. However, it might also mean you have some DIY to do. Either way you will be getting the job done.
45. Diddy Ride → Tit wank, sounds way more fun than a plain old tit wank
46. Cunnilingus → Oral sex, usually on a female. It made the list as it sounds very cool.
47. Glory Hole → A hole between toilet cubicles. Either for sticking things in or for watching sexual acts, best to go somewhere where nobody knows you.
48. Teabagging → Sucking a scrotum for sexual pleasure. Not making tea. Whatever you do, do not get these two mixed up!
49. Cwtch → This means cuddle, I am sure in the sexy Welsh accent this would lead to more!
50. Get your coat youve pulled → Universal. Meaning Coupling up. Not strictly about sex but nonetheless a classic line that could lead to sex and all of the above.
Did you catch all that?
So now you are one of the enlightened few and equipped with great knowledge, go forth and be free but some advice to note, maybe try using an accent as the Welsh and Irish don’t need many sexy words clearly and please do not try all the dirty talk at once, pace yourself and most important of all, have fun!