A lot of people misunderstand the word confidence. As a matter of fact, to most people it is just a meaningless word. We’ve all heard the phrase, ‘you just have to be confident’ but what does it really mean to be confident? What does it mean to have confidence? How do we get confidence? This article will answer all of those questions along with providing you with a few confidence tricks that will boost you to start gaining self-confidence at a rapid rate. It won’t be easy, it will take some time but at the end of the journey you will become a much more confident, stable and attractive person.
What is confidence?
Confidence is internal strength. It is not how many push ups you can do or how much weight you can lift, but rather becoming free of all of your insecurities – the amount of external negativity you can withstand while remaining completely true to yourself.
So let’s break this down. When we talk about external negativity we are talking about all of the outside factors that feed on our insecurities. For example, if you are overweight and feel insecure about it, the external negativity would be someone calling you ‘fat’. Depending on how extreme your insecurities are, you can be walking down a busy street, hear laughter coming from a short distance and automatically assume it is aimed at you.
Because of your insecurity, your body language will change, followed by a change in your voice, followed by a temperature change in your body and so on. It becomes a domino effect. In that embarrassed state, when you wish you could become invisible, is the moment other people start noticing you.
Why do they notice you? Is it because you’re fat? No. They notice you because you are nervous. They notice you because you are insecure. This nervous and insecure body language appears threatening. People around you feel as though you might harm them.
Insecurity is a monster that feeds on your weakness and it grows rapidly. But like all monsters, it can be neutralized and destroyed.
Insecurity is very greedy. It wants all of your attention and it requires other’s attention through you as well. But how do we neutralize insecurity? The best way of dealing with insecurity is to pay it no attention. This is a lot easier said than done, but you really have to have an ‘I don’t give a f**k’ attitude.
Insecurity wants to make you feel like everyone is watching. You have to accept this. ‘Yes, everyone is watching and I don’t care’. Invite them to stare. How do you invite them to stare?
You look people directly in the eyes, smile and DO NOT GIVE A F**K about their response.
By doing this you will notice that you are not affected by outside factors. You will soon learn that people are not looking at you because they mean you harm. They are looking at you because something about you is drawing their attention to you. You are becoming attractive to them. You are exuberating confidence.
There are many confidence tricks that can help you in building confidence. A lot of people will tell you the following list of things that you require in order to become confident:
Possess great posture
Speak loud and clear
Maintain great hygiene
These things are great, but they do not build confidence: they are the result of confidence. A confident person loves themselves. A confident person dresses well because they love receiving compliments. They love the attention and they know how to handle it. A confident person possesses great posture because to them nothing is impossible. They are the best, godlike, above all. They are not concerned with the lack of hair on their head, the excess fat on their belly or thighs. They will bring out their best possible self whenever they can, and they will walk proud as if there is no one else is better. How can they possibly behave this way? By not giving a f**k what anyone else thinks. Their own opinion is the most important one of all.
Building confidence & confidence tricks
There are several confidence tricks that can help you start gaining confidence immediately after reading this article. They might be a little difficult to do at first, but if you stick with the principles, you will notice a huge improvement each month.
Fake it, till you make it
This concept has a lot of mixed reviews. It is not the best trick in building confidence but it will help relax you. It will help promote the other tricks. Imagine a fictional character that has a lot of confidence, someone you admire. When you are watching their movies/shows, analyze their body language.
How calm are they?
How do they maintain eye contact with other characters?
How calm is their voice?
How do they dress?
How do they carry themselves?
Begin to mimic their mannerisms. Pretend to be them. People will notice a difference right away. They may even ask “why are you so confident? You are not [character name]” your answer should be, “I just am.” Because confidence earns respect, and respect is the ultimate currency.
I am the best
This is a very powerful confidence trick that will train your brain to think highly of yourself. Take a small piece of paper and write down the phrase ‘I am the best’. Tape it to your mirror, or to your desk, somewhere where you can take a look at it each morning and each night.
Depending on your confidence level, you might not even be able to look at it, at first. You might see it and think to yourself, ‘why am I doing this? This is a joke!’ Continue to look at it; every morning and every night before going to bed. Look at the piece of paper and say the phrase to yourself. Soon you will begin to read it without a problem. It will make sense. And eventually you will start to believe it. It will teach your brain to start loving yourself.
Last day on earth
One of the most powerful techniques is to imagine it is your last day on earth. When you do something, think to yourself:
Have I given it my all?
You ask that guy/girl out…are you going to give up after the first ‘No’? Ask them out again, and again, and again. If they still say ‘No’ ask out their younger brother/sister. If you are living like it is your last day on earth, all fear of rejection will melt away. This doesn’t just end at relationships; it can work for interviews or job offers, or even when you are giving your opinion in a class. Who cares what anyone thinks, today is my last day on earth.
How to use confidence to your advantage
If you see an attractive person, someone who you would like to date, would you glance at them and look away if they catch you looking? Why? A confident person is never afraid of being caught. A confident person is proud to say he is attracted to someone. A confident person will make eye contact with someone they desire and smile. If the other person looks away, they will continue to look. They will be persistent and approach and say ‘hello’. Their smile and eye contact is saying,
I mean you no harm, but I can’t take my eyes off of you. I like you and I want you to know. Be flattered that someone with my confidence appreciates your beauty.
Have no shame, because there is no shame in finding someone irresistible. After all, you cannot control who you are attracted to. Embrace this philosophy and share it with the world.
You can also take your confidence to the office, at work or at school. Don’t be afraid to give your opinion. If you have something to say, say it; without hesitation - because you never know if you will get another opportunity.
This is the same as if you see a beautiful woman (or man) walking down the street. If you don’t take the initiative and stop them, tell them you think they’re gorgeous and how you would love to meet up with them again, you’ll never have them. You may never get the opportunity to see them again. You miss all of the opportunities you don’t take – so take as many as you can.