Dating Tips for Shy Guys, the Best FREE Advice on the Internet

Dating Tips For Shy Guys Image

Being a shy guy can really put a damper on your love life. Don’t worry; there are things you can do to fix this problem once and for all.

Unfortunately, the reason most shy guys are shy is because they suffer from low self-confidence. They want to talk to the girl sitting at the coffee shop, but their head is filled with so many negative thoughts that they’d rather stay silent and save themselves the embarrassment.

Thoughts such as “She won’t want to talk to me…She’s too good looking…I don’t want to get rejected in public.” Shy guys are going into battle already defeated.

Ask yourself this question: Has what I’ve done in the past ever worked out for me?

Chances are that it hasn’t. You’ve heard the advice “Just be confident.” This means nothing to a shy guy and to be honest, that advice just plain sucks. Confidence comes with time…it won’t come over night. Telling someone to be confident won’t achieve anything. Most men and women fear rejection, while EVERY single shy guy is haunted by it.

Build confidence by embracing rejection

If you don’t have the courage to make eye-contact with her, you won’t get a chance to talk to her. If you don’t have the courage to talk to her, you won’t get a chance to date her. Period.

I will rather die a thousand deaths than surrender

It is better to fail and get rejected a thousand times than to give up and not try at all. It is impossible to win without ever having a chance to fail. The pain of rejection is short lived, it doesn’t last and it certainly can’t hold a candle to the joy of success followed.

One of the most motivational commercials I have ever witnessed was a Michael Jordan campaign titled Failure.

I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

With each successful interaction you will build confidence towards the next one, even if the success is only partial. Every shy guy needs to understand this.

Dating tips for shy guys, what to say?

The answer is so simple that it is shocking! Say exactly what is on your mind in a well-spoken manner (shy guys who are into poetry will do very well here). For example:

Your thought: Whoa! This girl is so good looking; I’d date her/sleep with her immediately!

Your line: Hi, I was about to leave but I had to introduce myself first. You captured my attention immediately; I want to get to know you. Tell me something interesting about yourself. (Smile)

It takes a lot of courage to say something like that. I don’t expect you to deliver that on your next interaction. Put in 50% effort: Hi, I was about to leave but I had to introduce myself first, I’m (name). Put even 3% effort: Hi, my name is (name). Have a friendly smile, stay calm and relaxed and you’ll be amazed at the results.

Here’s a tip that will keep you calm and relaxed: you are NOT doing anything wrong by showing interest. You are giving a compliment of the highest kind.

Knowing when to quit

There are some things that are out of your control.

If her response is anything along the RARE lines of

“No thank you, I’m not interested”

If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again. Not letting an initial rejection get to you is hard at first, believe me we all know. There are some things that are out of your control. Instead of giving up right there on the spot, or worse, getting bitter and making a rude remark, try again:

“Not interested? But you don’t even know me…”

Whatever her reply is, DO NOT take it personally.

Her reply (irritated): “Look, I’m really not interested, please leave”

Please leave means it’s time to move on. At this point she is just being plain rude. Although this is a highly unlikely example, you did exactly what you were set out to do. You saw a beautiful girl who you THOUGHT was perfect; you got to know how rude she is within seconds. Don’t waste any more of your time, there are plenty of nice ones out there. You’re still alive after that rejection. Hold your head up high shy soldier, today is a GREAT day!

This conversation could have easily gone the other way. The initial line could have had her laughing and stunned by your bold confidence. Being that bold takes time, it won’t come over night. Once you are at that level, you’ll feel empowered, untamed by any self-doubts, you’ll be a whole new you!

That confidence goes a long way. When you are in that state of mind, it doesn’t really matter what you say because your body language will take care of everything. With the experience you’ll also learn how to react to most situations, no comments will ever bring you down. The self-doubts you’ve had will vanish from your head completely. You’ll become as smooth as James Bond.


2 comments posted
This is pure gold! Huge

This is pure gold! Huge paradigm shift for me. Thanks so much for the advice!

Posted by Guest on Tue, 10/21/2014 - 19:53
A few years ago I'd have to

A few years ago I'd have to pay someone for this inoframtion.

Posted by Guest on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 20:14

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